In the wake of suggestions on a certain news site that all my fans are diabetic chavs whose tracksuit trousers don’t fit properly, my agent has set up a Wikipedia page to list all Shandi Beever fans who wear suits. If you are one of my fans and you wear a suit, please contact my agent and he will add you to the page.
Before an individual can be listed, Wikipedia requires photographic evidence that he is: a) a Shandi Beever fan, and b) in possession of a suit. If you do not understand how to demonstrate the above, contact my agent and he will advise you on how to proceed.
Wikipedia have stated, in relation to the list page, that they are removing statements made by people with no perceptible sense. So if you have no perceptible sense, please stop trying to contribute. Here are some other things you should NOT do…
- Do not submit photographs to Wikipedia which depict you in a tailored jacket but otherwise naked with a sock over your penis.
- Do not submit photographs in which you are wearing a suit, but sitting in McDonalds surrounded by friends who are dressed like Vicky Pollard.
- Do not pose outside Sports Direct and/or include a known drug dealer in the photograph.
- Make sure your photograph does not include anyone who is vomiting.
If you have any further questions, my agent can be contacted in the usual manner.