Problem With The Adult Content Preservation Engine

Email from ACPE

SHANDI B:
I had a facial spasm in the live feed on the homepage of the Quixie TV website, and ACPE (the Adult Content Preservation Engine – which builds an archive of adult content online) has archived it. I have written to ACPE to request that my facial spasm be removed. Here is their reply…

    Dear Miss Beever,

    Thank you for filing a report relating to the activities of our preservation engine. We have investigated your report, and determined that, as you state, our preservation bot has archived your facial spasm.

    Whilst we would agree that the timing of your facial spasm was unfortunate, we do not accept that this is a valid reason for us to uncapture the moment. Neither do we accept that either we or our bot are to blame for the outcome you reported. It was the responsibility of your face not to have a spasm on the homepage of a site which is regularly archived for permanent preservation.

    Regards,

    ACPE

Does anyone know how I can get my facial spasm uncaptured from preservation before the page goes viral? THIS IS EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!


 
COMMENTS…

Ed Case:
You told us not to talk.

SHANDI B:
???

Ed Case:
You sent round a circular telling us not to ever try and answer questions on here ever again because we are a useless waste of space.

SHANDI B:
I’m retracting that, obviously.

michael_9:
And you banned someone who may know the answer.

SHANDI B:
What are you talking about?

Rod B Sandleman:
You banned Richard Lingham, and blocked him on Tumblr.

SHANDI B:
He turned up at the studio. I had to taser him in the balls.

Gerald Fox:
Why, what did he do?

SHANDI B:
HE TURNED UP AT THE STUDIO, with a creepy expression on his face.

Ed Case:
So you tasered his bollocks – for having a creepy expression on his face?

SHANDI B:
No, I tasered his bollocks for TURNING UP AT THE STUDIO with a creepy expression on his face.

michael_9:
Does the studio not have a security guard to taser your fans’ balls for you?

SHANDI B:
Yes, but I specifically asked him if I could personally taser Richard Lingham. CAN ANYONE HELP ME GET MY FACIAL SPASM REMOVED OR NOT????

Alberto Hotburn (Content Manager – ACPE):
The only way a moment can be uncaptured is if the site from which the capture is preserved becomes an inconsequence. In order to qualify as an inconsequence, a site must have fewer than one pages.

SHANDI B:
So in order to get my facial spasm removed, Quixie TV has to delete a website that makes £275,000 per month and pays all our wages – in other words, delete the entire business???!!!

Alberto Hotburn (Content Manager – ACPE):
Yes. If you need help with deleting a commercial enterprise, please use a search engine.

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